Wednesday, July 28, 2010

About Assertiveness

What is assertiveness? It is speaking your mind and allowing others to do the same. Assertive people:

Say what they think, feel and want. Assertive people understand that they have the right to express themselves. Speak directly, honestly and tactfully - without excuses, apologies or "beating around the bush" Respect others' rights as well. An assertive person doesn't try to intimidate. There is a big yet subtle difference between assertive, nonassertive and aggressive. Be ASSERTIVE and notice the difference.

Because being assertive has many benefits. Have you ever wished you could:

Speak your mind clearly and effectively?

Say "NO" without feeling guilty?

Feel better about yourself?

Improve your relationships with others?

Disagree without seeming hostile?

Feel in control of your life?

Ask for assistance when you choose?

Get respect from THOSE others?

START by evaluating your behavior.

Take out a piece of paper and start writing. Think about how you interact with your family, friends, and business associates. Answer the following questions and notice how you feel and discover if you are Assertive, Nonassertive or Aggressive.


* Are you confident without being overbearing?

* Are you proud when you do something well?

* Do you say what you feel without being hostile to others?

* Can you resist peer pressure?

* Can you give and receive compliments gracefully?

* Do you respect yourself?


1. Are you afraid that others will not like you if you disagree with them?

2. Do you remain silent when something bothers you?

3. Do you feel guilty when you say "no" to a friend, relative or salesperson?

4. Is it difficult for you to give or receive criticism?

5. Are you reluctant to ask for assistance?


A. Do you demand rather than ask?

B. Are you verbally or physically abusive?

C. Do you feel angry when others disagree with you?

D. Do you explode when someone criticizes you?

E. Do you feel that you have to win, that to compromise is to loose?

Tune in tomorrow to find out what causes each of the above and the clues to moving from one to the other as you CHOOSE.