Friday, February 27, 2009

Initial Relationship Advice Question?

Welcome to Serious Relationship Advice. I intend for this to be an open exchange between myself and you, the person who has been eagerly awaiting such a forum. NLP and Covert Hypnosis are the only technologies that are our there being applied in the real relatonship problem advice world. Your questions and comments are welcome and encouraged. They will be moderated (screened). We do not want advertisement or people wanting to disrupt the exchanges. Of course, the first question that comes up is how does lesbian seduction with NLP differ from others forms of seduction.

If you look at all relationships then you will find a very large percentage of them if not all are based on one starting premise. Each person is looking for something (a quality for example) in the other that they themselves do not have. Think about the teenage girl who is a straight "A" student and is an introvert. She wants to be more extroverted and thinks that if she dates, goes steady, is seen with the star athletic jock then she will become more extroverted. Meanwhile, the star athletic jock is loud and obnoxious and definitely extroverted and dumber than a box of rocks. He thinks that if he is seen with the straight “A” smart girl then he will get smart or at least people will think he is smarter than he is.

They meet and become a steady couple, an item, etc. This will last until one of them, usually the girl, realizes that they are not going to get or become what they envisioned or thought.
Many times in marriage the same type of thing takes place. One partner has more sex experience than the other. If the female is the more experienced, then she has to be very careful the she is not perceived by her boyfriend as a slut. Solving martial sex problems is often based on this one difference in experience. To complicate this is the underlying beliefs about sex and how one got experienced. So what should we chat about now. I will give it to you straight or do you want it another way. I will insert a little language for the inside of your mind along the way.

A person called the other day. He made the statement that NLP has not changed in 30 years. I told him that with the traditional certification training of NLP, the statement is probably true. The traditional NLPer’s have put the medical community, therapy community, psychologist community, psychiatrist community “ethics” on the whole field. They believe and therefore teach that you can not DO NLP with someone unless they are sitting in front of you and the someone “patient” give you express permission to do NLP. This is a load of BULL.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) as researched by Richard Bandler is simply a study of how the brain processes language and how the resulting neuro networks are created and run our reality. Therefore, the studying of NLP by you is simply a way for your communication to be more effective.

There are a couple of other ways of looking at it. For Example, if the “patient” environment is OVERT, then any other environment is COVERT and covert is bad. Ha It is this arena that there has and continues to be discoveries made. Richard Bandler and John LaValle continue to publish material and conduct seminars demonstrating the latest in NLP.

Another way of looking at “Covert” versus “Patient” NLP is using the conscious mind. The Overt “Patient” NLPer’s teach to talk to the conscious mind, consciously asking if a person can or can not experience some sensation with one of their senses. This is not necessary and many times just a waste of time as it becomes two conscious minds playing with each other.

An example, one of our clients is a heart surgeon. Remember Patch Adams. Most doctors are taught to dissociate when doing surgery. The problem is they are always dissociated. Patch demonstrated with humor in his case that a doctor could be associated (have rapport with) the patient before surgery. He could dissociate during surgery and then re-associate after surgery. However this surgeon wanted to do more and take it to another level. I explained that the conscious mind is the one which goes to sleep. The sub-conscious or Greater Mind never sleeps. This is even under sedation during surgery. So we explained that the talk that takes place during surgery by the doctors is extreme important. Think of the difference.

Normal Doctors: “This patient is a tub of lard, the arteries are like sewer pipes. He is Doomed no matter what we do. Boy is she ugly.”

Our Surgeon talks to the greater mind continuously during surgery. He instructs the patients body to work on the inside while he works on the outside. “We are going to make an incision along this the inside of the left thigh. Just allow the incision and STOP the blood flow in that area. Everything is OK. Thank for your assistance.”

He is talking to the subconscious. He is being Covert. He patient never knows consciously what took place. He just knows that he likes the surgeon and that the surgery went very smoothly.
So now on to Seduction and NLP talking to the subconscious mind (The Greater Mind).
I am going to insert a recent newsletter here:


Is the Beer Good Here?

I was talking with a business associate the other day and he told me this story. He was in a sports bar watching a game and having a beer. There were some other guys near by. Two girls walked in and he was interested in one. He ignored them both. A couple of guys approached the girls where he could here and see everything. The same old game of pickup line and replies was taking place. He started laughing hysterically still ignoring them. The guys missed it all together. The girls however picked up on it immediately and the one he was interested in came over to the bar and asked, “Is the beer good here?” He responded, “ YES the beer is good here.”
His question to me was what could I have said?

First rule is pay attention to her and let that guide you. USE What she gives you.

So I asked him, “ What are the assumptions in her question, “Is the beer good here?””
Well he said, “She likes beer”

I said, “OK and what else?”

He said slowly, “She likes good beer”

OK” I said and “what else?”

Now there was a long pause. I prompted, “Why did she ask that question?”

He was still in trance. “One assumption you are making is that she has never been in the bar or had a beer in the bar. Is that true or false.”

He now was starting to get it. “I don’t know,” he responded.

So one of the first questions you could ask in response is, “Have you been in here before…. For a beer?” You are just checking for congruency. It is her pickup line, “Is the beer good here?”

He says, “OK I get it. So what else did I miss”

There is another thing about which you could be curious. Think about it this way. The words came out of her mouth, so they should/could/maybe be important to her.

Ask, “What is important about a good beer to you?” depending on her response proceed.

What other good things happen with a good beer?”

How much time do you spend looking for a good beer?”

How do you choose a good beer?”

These are all open ended questions on a topic she brought up. Even if it was a pickup line, you have now turned it into something else. Something important to her. You are capturing and leading her imagination.

More later - Get It.

Your Guide To The Future


Examine Limiting Beliefs